Current mood:

happy

Fic: Christmas Wishes
Title: Christmas Wishes
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes
Pairing: Holmes/Watson
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, although actually in the public domain. No profit is intended.

Summary: Christmas wishes really do come true.

Author’s Note: A squid crackfic gift for the Yahoo Holmesslash group. Happy Holidays. Enjoy.



Christmas Wishes

“Holmes?”

“Yes, Watson?”

“What on earth happened here?”

“Well, Mrs. Hudson was quite stressed with the holidays, so I’m rolling pie crust, decorating the tree, hanging the mistletoe, sweeping the floor, and lighting the Yule log.”

“Holmes, you’re an octopus!”

“A squid, Watson, a squid. You see but do not observe the correct number of tentacles.”

“…”

“…”

“Holmes, why are you a squid?”

“Mrs. Hudson needed some extra hands… er… appendages. It was her Christmas wish that I help out.”

“Did you have to become a squid to do so?”

“Apparently.”

“Okay, Holmes, but how did you become a squid?”

“Well, it seems that the Holmesslash group has quite a fascination with cephalopods. From what I understand, this is hardly the first time I’ve grown tentacles.”

“You don’t say.”

“Oh yes. It seems that I’ve taken on many forms… tentacles, a fin, a tail. I’ve even been a centaur and a merman… You look rather faint, Watson.”

“I think I had best sit down. But Holmes, how do we turn you back?”

“Don’t fret so. They won’t leave me like this for long. Just enough time to help Mrs. Hudson with her chores, perhaps engage in a bit of an illicit activity, and then *poof*, I’m back to normal and trying to figure out a way to tell you of my feelings toward you and not end up in gaol because of it.”

“…”

“Watson, fainting really won’t do.”

“Ow. You didn’t need to slap me with a tentacle.”

“Whatever works. Now pull yourself together man.”

“Illicit activity? Your feelings? Holmes, whatever do you mean?”

“Perhaps it would be easier to show you.”

“Holmes! Get your tentacle out of there. What do you think you’re… ooh. That feels quite… nice.”

“Now do you understand?”

“Yes, of course. Why did you never tell me this before?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me.”

“Holmes, as pleasant as it is to be masturbated by a squid, I can honestly say that I would much rather have you in the form of my dearest friend, the man I most admire, the man I deeply love.”

“Truly?”

“Yes, Holmes.”

*poof*

“Holmes! You’re back.”

“Well, it appears that your Christmas wish superseded Mrs. Hudson’s. Now I must… oomph… Watson, how can I talk when you’re kissing me like that?”

“That’s part of the idea. Come on, Holmes. Take my hand and let’s go make some Christmas miracles of our own.”

“Lead on, my dearest Watson, lead on.”

“Happy Christmas, Holmes.”

“Happy Christmas, Watson.”

*********

And very happy holidays to you all!